Everyone has seen the stereotypical “office Christmas party” in a movie or television show, a drunken yuletide celebration of the year coming to a close. However, things look a little different when you’re a festive fly on the wall of a tech company’s party …
Everyone has seen the stereotypical “office Christmas party” in a movie or television show, a drunken yuletide celebration of the year coming to a close. However, things look a little different when you’re a festive fly on the wall of a tech company’s party. Here’s why:
1) Someone always ends up with a lampshade on their head, but it’s only so they can take a selfie for Instagram and label it #crazy #wild #merrychristmasyall #sorrynotsorry. They’re also completely sober when they do this.
2) Instead of making small talk about bowl games and playoffs, people make small talk about the podcast Serial and whether a teenager committed murder twenty years ago or not. You know, normal holiday conversations.
3) Marketing gives everyone a list of the SEO keywords they need to hit when they tell Santa what they want for Christmas. Remember, asking for a “fun exciting dynamic gift present wrapping paper holiday” is going to get better results than telling the big man you want a sled. Not that it matters that much because …
4) We all use the wish list app Wshlstr. Not only does it remove unnecessary vowels, but it also stores your wish list on the Cloud and Snapchats it to Santa where he can get free shipping with Amazon Prime. It also calls an Uber cab for some reason.
5) We enable all kinds of cookies (chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, etc.) and then disable them in our stomachs. (No need to leave a comment; I can hear you groaning from here.)
6) The cookies are actually our “cheat food” because the rest of the meal is 100% paleo, meaning it’s comprised of things cavemen ate at Christmas. No carbs or processed foods for us. The cheese ball is actually made with butternut squash. The egg nog uses almond milk. The pumpkin pie is just cardboard and Play-Doh.
Want more? Fear not — our Infomedia Christmas Party was last night, so we’ll be sharing photos of all the festive geekery just as soon as we decide on which hashtags to use.